


Oh, Crema

by 93stylan



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Charmie, Cheating, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Sex, F/M, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Sex, Sloppy Makeouts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-09-29 04:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17196299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/93stylan/pseuds/93stylan
Summary: Or the one in which Timothée and Armie return to Crema 3 years later to film the sequel to Call Me by Your Name.However, something is different this time.





	1. The News

I got the call. The call I had been waiting for, dreaming for. The call to return to my heaven, Crema with Armie to film the long awaited sequel to Call Me by Your Name. Apparently, it was going to be called 'And I'll Call You by Mine'. I liked that, it still encompasses the first film and the most meaningful phrase in both the book and the film.

Excitement flooded through my veins, not only as the film sequel would delight so many but mainly as I would finally be able to work with Armie again. THE Armie Hammer. The way he becomes the character, the way he became Oliver three years ago is something I would never forget. He put his entire being into Oliver, and it triggered something within me and I became Elio. We became Oliver and Elio, Elio and Oliver.

The freedom we felt whilst in Crema, alone was a feeling I shall never forget. I thoroughly enjoyed spending three months alone with him, bar a couple of weeks when Elizabeth and Harper came to visit back then. But, I adore them both and now his wonderful son Ford too. The Hammer family are so kind and have adopted me as their own.

I decide to contact Armie about the news, I knew we both have been longing for this. I sent him a text message, saying:

**Finally, I can't believe it's taken us so long but here we are. The sequel and Crema await my friend.**

I smile as I press send. I'm already counting down the days, we start filming in May. I've been told the sequel takes place at a similar time of year just 2 years later, making Elio 19 and Oliver 26, set in summer 1985. My parents often reminisce about 1985, how it was one of the best years of their lives. They met then, in '85 and had me just 10 years later, after my sister Pauline of course. Some great music came out in '85 too, such as Don't You Forget About Me, Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Not forgetting Live Aid, arguably the greatest musical concert of the entire century. But of course, in Italy in tiny beautiful little Crema the culture and year would be different from that of America.

My most intriguing thought was where the plot was going to take Elio and Oliver, what was going to happen to their story? Obviously Oliver is going to be returning to Crema, why else would we be filming there? I begin to wonder whether Elio is going to meet Oliver's wife, or fiancée. Has Oliver had any children?

Although, I pinpoint my character of Elio. Is he still in love with Oliver? Have his feelings changed? I'm able to channel these electrifying emotions that Elio feels because I, myself feel such sparks and connection when I'm with Armie. Not only when I'm acting or performing a scene with him, but just in general conversation, eye contact, you name it and I feel it. I always wonder whether he feels the same, or whether I'm completely fictionalising this in my head. Imagining what only I wish could be true. Armie took care of me so much while we were in Crema, would he do it again this time? 

To think, one of my first leading roles which has arguably given me my career and breakthrough in the acting and entertainment industry, I can owe to Luca and most definitely Armie. For the rest of my time I will forever be in debt to Armie for his ability to give himself to Oliver completely. He was able to create the most beautiful performance of the character, and allowed for such a beautifully tragic story to be told by film. My first proper leading role in a movie I didn't comprehend would become as large as it did, and I got to star alongside Armie Hammer. I'm fully aware I mention this all the time in interviews, even when I'm with him in interviews but I cannot believe it even to this day. We filmed 'Call Me by Your Name' back in the summer of 2016, I was a mere 20 years old. Now, it's 2019 and I'm 23 and going to be 24 this year. Time flies.

My phone bleeps and I receive a notification informing me Armie has responded to my message,

_I can't wait to be back in my favourite place in the world with you, Timmy._

My heart melts. He's such a charmer, I quickly respond back.

**And I with you Armie, bring on another summer!**

Indeed, bring on another summer of playing our most beloved characters. Maybe, just maybe this time could be a bit different...


	2. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Timothée to fly to Crema.

So, it's the day I fly out to Crema to start filming. Armie can't fly out with me due to Harper not quite yet completing her first year of school, he didn't want to miss that and I don't blame him, it's a special moment for a parent. Also, it makes this entire experience more nostalgic and reminiscent for me - this is just like 2016 when I flew out alone completely unknowing as to what Armie would be like.

Making sure I've packed all my things, enough clothes and supplies for three and a half months, I sigh in relief when I've got everything. I take one last look into my New York apartment.

"See you in September," I whisper. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't wait to go back to Crema with Armie and transform into my Crema self and my Crema life. Become another version of Elio but still resonate myself within this personality, a new individual, a new being. I love who I become when I'm in Crema. But, I will always adore my New York apartment. After all, I was born and raised in the Hell's Kitchen neighbourhood of Manhattan, New York. I called my parents yesterday to wish them goodbye, and my sister Pauline is adamant she's going to come out to see me whilst I'm there, as she never got the opportunity to during the filming of the first movie.

My mother will kill me if I don't text her before my flight, and so I send her a message letting her know I'm leaving my apartment and heading for the airport, along with my flight information.

**Hi Mom, just to let you know I'm leaving my apartment now and heading to the airport. I love you so much, and I'll call when I land I promise. My flight number is BA535 and the flight is at 6 pm. Love, Timothée x**

Whilst I'm on my messages, I once again decide to text Armie to let him know I'm gutted I'm not going to be flying with him this time.

**I'm sad you aren't flying with me to our special place. You know I'm a nervous flyer:(**

And, to my surprise, I quickly receive a response.

_I know Tim. I'm sad I can't be with you too. But don't worry I have a surprise in store for you when you get to the airport. Sit tight and be patient, I'll see you soon_

It still makes me laugh how he's such an old-fashioned texter in the way that he phrases things. I say it makes me laugh, but I love it at the same time. I've even started to adopt it into my own texting tendencies. Putting my phone into my back pocket of my jeans, I pick up my bags and make my way out of the door. Deeply inhaling and exhaling, I take one last longing look back into my apartment and proceed to lock the door. Now, a feeling of pure excitement flooded through my veins. It was Crema time, Italy time, Europe time. 

Once I was outside my apartment building, I used my New York cab hailing expertise and chucked my bags into the boot of the taxi. I told him, JFK airport and watched the city disappear behind me out the window, the future was ahead. I was hankering to get to the airport, to get on with getting to Italy, and to see what this surprise Armie has in store for me at the airport. 

On arrival at the airport, the cabby is kind and helps me get my bags out of the car and I pay him, with a little extra for a tip for his kindness. Here we go, it's time and I'm here. I quickly check my bags in, I have plenty of time but I like to get all the hassle of the airport procedures out of the way as fast as possible so I can relax in the waiting lounge. After making my way through security, a timid looking girl approaches me.

"Oh my god, Timmy! Oh my god," she nervously splutters. I smile in response, I loved talking to fans, it was one of the most rewarding parts of my job. I get to hear what people think of my performances and the movies I'm in and honestly, it makes all the hard work pay off.

"Hi there," I respond. "What's your name?"

"I'm Rosie, it's really nice to meet you, Timmy."

"Lovely to meet you too Rosie," I say and she moves in for a hug so I drop my hand luggage to the floor.

"Thank you for that. Would it be possible if I could get a picture with you?" She asks me.

"Of course you can!" I tell her, and we pose for a selfie and I let my smile emerge from where it was hiding behind my lips.

"Are you flying off for work?" she questions me. I know I can't tell her where I'm going or what I'm doing as we've been told that the public aren't aware that the sequel is happening as of yet. They want to keep it a secret for as long as possible and drop the trailer in complete surprise. 

"Yeah I am, I can't tell you where or what for though" I explain to her, and she is understanding. But she thanks me for stopping, talking and taking a picture, then returns to her family. 

I pick up my backpack and walk through towards the lounge area to wait for an hour and a half before boarding starts for my flight to Crema. Taking a seat, I sigh. So the waiting begins. Before I am alone with my thoughts for too long, my phone makes a noise.

_Look up._

And, I do look up. My eyes meet  _his._ Armie's. He's here. Oh my god! What?

"Armie!" I shout. I stand from my seat and he rushes over to me, we haven't seen each other in months. We embrace in a hug, his arms hold my smaller frame with such care. He strokes my back whilst we embrace. His touch electrifies me but yet has the ability to calm me at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him. "I thought you couldn't make this flight because Harper hasn't finished school yet."

"Well, surprise Timmy. Here I am. She finished a week ago, I wanted to surprise you. I wanted us to go there together this time, and so I could keep you company on the flight you ball of nerves," he explains and then chuckles.

"This was certainly a surprise Armie, I'm so happy you're here. What about Elizabeth and the kids? Are they not coming with you?" I question him. As I've said I love the entire family they are so warm and happy. However, when in Crema it holds something special that only Armie and I can understand. Elizabeth doesn't get it, and that's not her fault, but I just haven't really had any proper alone time with Armie since the press and promotion tour for the first film.

"No, not today. They're coming out to visit a couple weeks into filming though. I couldn't go that long without seeing her or my kids, you know."

"Oh that will be lovely, I'm looking forward to seeing them all. It's been too long. I bet the kids have grown since I last saw them," I smile and look into his eyes. 

"They're growing on me everyday Timmy, I can't get them to stop," his eyes always glimmer with happiness when he speaks about his family. I noticed that very early on in my friendship with him. 

We spend the next hour and a half chatting and catching up about the recent events in our lives. Our schedules and busy lives make it difficult for us to meet up a lot of the time, and as I keep saying I'm just so ecstatic that I get to spend such a long time with Armie again. It's going to be brilliant.

A woman calls for our flight and notifies passengers it's boarding. We pick up our hand luggage and walk through to find our gate. The queue isn't too long when we get there as we managed to be some of the first few to arrive for boarding. 

When we step onto the plane, we are directed to our seats. Armie, bless his heart, ensured he got the seat next to me in first class to keep my nerves at bay. Anxiety and a churning stomach overtake my body as soon as I sit down. 

"Tim, hey. It's gonna be fine, just think about how many times you've done this now. You've gone to see so many beautiful places in this world. Let's not forget you've done this alone before too. You're gonna be fine bud, and I'm right here," he gently grabs each side of my face to turn me to look at him. To show me his eyes, to calm me and to comfort me. To bring me back from my nervous pit I was falling into. As I look into his eyes, that look just like blue swirling pools I become calm. 

"Thank you," I breathe out. I continue to look into his eyes, attempting to communicate my sincerity of appreciation for him being here right now. 

An announcement comes through the speakers of the plane, that we will be taking off soon and the flight attendants would be demonstrating the safety procedures. That never helps my nerves either! I feel a sudden jolt, meaning that the plane had started to move and we were making our way toward the runway. 

I start a mantra in my head.  _ **Think where you're going, who you're with. Crema. You're doing this for Crema, for Armie, for Luca, for Elio and for Oliver.**_

I don't pay any attention to the safety procedures, if something bad were to happen I'd work it out. Can't be that hard, can it? It feels as though I've blinked and all the time in the world has passed. We're on the runway and waiting to take off. I hadn't even noticed that Armie had done up my seatbelt for me. 

The captain increased the engine power, rattling started and noises became louder. My palms filled with sweat, the liquid making it hard to concentrate and I furiously rubbed my hands against my jeans to rid myself of the feeling of disgust. My breathing speed increased.

Something stopped my state of panic, a hand. It was definitely a hand. I looked down, and sure enough, there was a hand clutching and encasing my own.  _His_ hand. Armie's hand.

He carefully squeezed my hand to show he was here, wasn't going anywhere and to ease me. I was forever grateful for him at this moment. Sure enough, the feeling of leaving the ground overcame me and relief only came when Armie stroked the top of my hand with his thumb. We reached full altitude and I then decided to try to watch a movie to remove my focus of being on a plane.  _ **To Crema, remember Timothée it's Crema with Armie. This is all worth it.**_

I finished the movie which got rid of 2 hours of the flight. I looked over to Armie and he was entranced in a movie of his own choice. I leaned over to get a better look at what he was watching. I recognised it immediately. That damn man was watching Lady Bird. I couldn't believe him, and so I gave him a nudge.

"Armie, seriously? Why?" I whined. I was so embarrassed, why did he have to watch one of my movies when I was right here next to him? It was in this moment, I felt just like Elio because he was afraid of what Oliver thought of him, what he thinks of him. I felt this exact same feeling with Armie. This was because I respected him so much, his opinion of me so much. Armie is a fantastic actor himself, winner of many awards and his professional opinion was one of the most important to me.

"Because I wanted to watch it. I've been so busy with press tours for my other movies and raising the kids that I've not had the chance to watch you in this yet," he smirks at me. He's enjoying this, enjoying me crumbling under him, my cheeks flushing and turning red. He notices my embarrassment, and normally I don't mind watching myself in movies but this is different. He is different.

"Aw Timmy, look at those little cheeks!" he coos and reaches out to grab them. I swat his hand away and make my best attempt at a grumpy frown. He laughs at this.

I decide I can't watch him watch Lady Bird any longer and try to get some sleep. Before I know it, I'm drifting off. But, just as I do, I feel a hand grab my own once more.


	3. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timothée and Armie arrive back in Crema. Armie comes to visit Timmy in his room.

As I lay on my bed in my hotel room in Crema, I can't stop thinking about how we held hands for pretty much the entire flight after falling asleep. We woke up with our hands still intertwined and fingers locked together, keeping a protective and affirmative grasp around each other. I shouldn't be reading into this so much, Armie definitely is not doing the same. Yet, I can't help myself. Now we're back in Crema, the feelings and emotions have rushed back and taken over my entire body and mind.

Filming starts later today, we arrived early this morning around 8 am. Luca, our director wants to do the same as before and shoot the film in sequence. I absolutely adore the way he creates his pieces of art, the way he does it is what makes him so outstanding. Before working on the first movie, I had never had the opportunity to shoot in sequence, most directors don't work that way. However, I think that especially with Elio and Oliver's story it allowed me to understand Elio and his feelings as events progressed chronologically. It really lets Armie and I build the relationship with our characters - I think it shows how Armie and myself became closer over the time we filmed, as Oliver and Elio became more comfortable with each other as the story progresses.

A knock sounds at my door and my thoughts and contemplations are interrupted. I stand up and make my way over to the door, I've missed this hotel and it's antique nature. As I open the door to greet my guest, a creaking sound echoes through both my room and the corridor. Standing on the other side is none other than Armie, dazzling me with his gorgeous white smile. So cheeky, and so wonderful that I cannot help but smile in response. 

"Armie, hi," I stand aside to let him in. It goes without saying that he is always welcome in here. This little town, this little hotel it's our heaven. We created so many memories here, those 3 summers ago and I can't wait to create more this time around.

"Hey Tim, I just came by to see you before we start filming. I wanted to speak to you about something," he says to me as he walks into my room and sits on the end of my bed. 

"Sure, what do you wanna talk to me about?" I ask him. I shut the door and turn back and plump myself down next to him. A parallel between myself and Armie, and Elio and Oliver erupts in my mind. The scene where they make love for the first time, where they're sitting on the edge of the bed and Elio places his foot upon Oliver's. I almost do this to Armie, but I hold myself back. We haven't had enough time to get ever so comfortable with each other as we did before.

"Okay, so I was just thinking that we haven't had much rehearsal time. I thought that perhaps we could block a couple scenes from the script. I picked up your copy for you whilst you were resting," he explains to me and grabs the script from out of his bag, and holds it to me. He's making a lot of sense and I also think it's a good idea too. We haven't acted together in such a long time. 

"Yeah that sounds like a great idea. Let's do it," I tell him and take the script from his surprisingly soft calloused man hands. My hands are still so spindly.

"Alrighty, let's skip to one of the scenes I know we definitely need to rehearse. Skip to scene 36," he shows me in his own script, "look it's just here on this page," he guides me to the right place. I'm shocked when I begin reading what we are planning on blocking. 

_ELIO AND OLIVER STARE INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES, OLIVER MOVES CLOSER TO ELIO AND CONNECTS THEIR LIPS. THEY KISS._

Oh my god. He wants to rehearse this? Why? My palms begin to sweat, and my face begins to flush. It's not like I haven't kissed him before, but something is off and something is different this time. I can't believe he wants to block this scene. Why this scene?

"O-Okay. Let's block this," a nervous tremor can be heard in my voice, but I hope he doesn't take any notice. 

Armie places his script to one side and takes mine from my slightly shaking hands. He turns back to me and reaches up to hold my face with his right hand, and his thumb strokes the side of my neck near my most important artery. He has all the control. I relax at his touch, a burning sensation begins and follows where his thumb goes. He never breaks eye contact, and he moves his face closer to mine. 

I can feel his hot breath fanning itself over my lips, I sigh in pleasure as I feel it. I close my eyes, and his lips eventually but gently touch my own. Fire. I feel on fire. It burns through and spreads throughout my blood, sparks flying. The chemistry is still there, I was fearful it would not be. I know he can feel it too, I'm able to tell at the slight moan of relief and enjoyment. I can just claim I was Elio if he thinks I was enjoying myself too much. Maybe he is just excited that our chemistry is still there and is not actually enjoying this kiss in the way that I am.

We kiss for quite some time, his mouth dominating and controlling my own. His lips, slotting between mine, like two perfect pieces of a complex jigsaw puzzle which are only made to be fitted together. I have no idea exactly how much time has passed, but I'm still on fire when he eventually disconnects our lips. Heavy breathing sounds are the only thing heard in my room, sounds emitting from the both of us. His eyes are still shut, but he slowly opens them and looks into my eyes. 

"Thank you for that, for rehearsing and blocking that scene with me," he whispers to me quietly and a light chuckle is released from his mouth.

"It's okay. Thank you too. At least we know we're still the best tongue wrestling partners," I joke with him whilst wiggling my eyebrows, and nudge him several times.

"We've still got it, dude," he laughs and lifts his hand up for a high five. I smack his palm with my own and we laugh together. It feels so good to be back here with him again, my tongue wrestling partner. It appears to me that he maybe had a different appreciation for that sensational kiss than I did. I have no idea whether that was just the same as last time for him or whether it created a different feeling.

"Right, so that was good. I'm glad we've still got it. Another scene I thought we could practice was this one," he flicks to another page in the script and begins to talk about why this scence is important for us to block. 

We carry on blocking scenes for the rest of the morning and into the early afternoon, but I receive a text from our director Luca telling me I'm needed to film the first scene.

I bid Armie goodbye, but tell him he is welcome to stay in my room for as long as he wishes.


	4. Filming Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Timmy and Armie finally start filming the sequel.

Before I could even gather my bearings I'm embraced in a hug by Luca, and then followed by Michael who plays my father in the movie. They greet me with smiles and gush over how thrilled they are to be creating and filming the sequel. I'm thrown into it straight away, luckily there isn't too much dialogue in this first scene. It's more of the landscape of the Perlman house but I'm needed to be playing the piano for my on-screen 'parents' and some guests they were hosting. The film begins with Elio being most Elio like, playing his transcribed music on the piano. It appears nothing has changed.

Luckily I had been sent the piano material I was expected to be playing in the first few musical scenes so I was able to rehearse back in New York. For other music scenes further into the movie, I've not been able to spend time learning the guitar or piano, so will have to spend time continuing lessons whilst we film - most likely when Armie is filming his standalone scenes. 

I play the piano piece, and it's definitely one of my new favourites. After learning piano and guitar for the last film, I have to say it showed me a whole different side to music I never quite understood. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a fan of rap, but when in Italy it just feels right to be playing this type of music. We get the scene done in around ten takes as I kept messing up some of the notes, but Luca told me that this was okay as I hadn't had too much time to practice.

"Cut!" Luca shouts. "Timothée, we're going to be filming the next scene once it is dark. Please return to set at 9 pm. For now, feel free to have time to grab dinner and perhaps block some more scenes from the script if you please."

"Okay. Thanks, Luca see you in a bit," I bid him goodbye along with the rest of the crew as I hop on my rent bike and cycle back to the hotel.

I have to say, I've really missed biking around like this. It's the perfect opportunity to be at peace with yourself and come to term with many things. I begin thinking about Armie and I rehearsing that kiss, I mean we did it for the last film all the time. I still don't know to this day whether Elizabeth has any idea about that or not. Don't get me wrong, our chemistry and connection was as fiery back then. Guilt is an after feeling I always get, I enjoy the kiss so much for my own selfish pleasure but I always think about Armie's wife Elizabeth afterwards. Armie is married to Elizabeth, they have a family, two children. This is selfish, this is wrong. 

My journey takes me less time than I anticipate, I guess I was just in a hurry to get back to see Armie. I unlock my room and there I find him, napping on my bed. I can't believe he's stayed here the whole time. I coo at him, he looks so harmless despite his tall stature. 

Slowly, I make my way over to my bed and reach out to him and shake him to wake him up.

"Armie, wake up. I'm back," I say quietly. He stirs and turns to face me directly. He eventually opens his eyes.

"Timmy," he groggily says. "You're back already? What time is it?" 

"I've finished filming my first scene. It's 6 now, I've got to go back there at 9 to film another scene," I explain to him. He pats the space next to him on the bed for me to come and lay down with him, he's still half asleep.

"Okay. I'm still half asleep. We could go grab dinner in say 30 minutes or an hour?" he asks me. That sounds wonderful, I just hope for his sake if we go to that same restaurant as before he doesn't order that raw steak again. Armie, bless him, was so confident with his Italian but they brought him a steak that had never seen a heat source. He's so stubborn and refused to admit he'd made a mistake, so he sat and ate the entire thing. Horrible to watch, but so funny to me at the same time. It's most definitely one of my favourite memories here.

"Fancy another raw steak then, Arms?" I tease him. 

"Ugh, no. Don't remind me, never again," he groans.

The time rolls around for us to go out to dinner. We obviously for our first night here end up at an Italian place, I'm in the mood for spaghetti. Armie orders some kind of meat pasta that I've never seen before, he offers for me to try some and I accept. He feeds me with the fork, I feel like such a baby but it was surprisingly good.

When we've finished it's 8:30 and I need to be back on set for 9. Armie says he's going to come with me this time as he wants to watch me, brilliant more pressure. I'd rather have him with me than leaving him back at the hotel though. 

\--

Arriving back on set for the second time today, Luca directs me to Elio's bedroom in the Perlman house, and we begin filming scene two. In this scene, Elio is laying in bed fidgeting, a parallel to the first film. Luca wanted to convey that Elio's mannerisms have not changed, he is still the same person but yet not precocious anymore. I lay down on the bed and start tossing and turning, kicking my legs out, moving the pillow so that it is comfortable. I often find myself doing this anyway, so I don't find this kind of acting difficult.

Elio's behaviour is supposed to channel him still thinking about Oliver, that he is not over him yet - he can't stop thinking about him. Elio is supposedly thinking about Oliver and his new wife, whether they have any children. He hasn't spoken to Oliver since that fateful day back in the winter of '83, when his heart was ripped to pieces by his first love.

It's a relatively easy and simple scene to film and in between takes Armie is trying to make me laugh to be disruptive, but I don't mind. This is typical Armie behaviour. After several takes being needed, because Armie was being a pain and making me laugh, I'm dismissed and allowed to go back to the hotel. 

We decided to bike back to the hotel, just like old times. Quickly, it became a competition and we raced back, I won! Armie isn't going to let this one slide so easily.

Armie and I make our way back up to our rooms and he drops me off to my door, like the gentleman he is.

"Your humble abode Mr. Chalamet," he mocks a posh accent and gestures towards my door. He bows slightly too. 

"Why thank you, Mr. Hammer. You really shouldn't have," I play along with our façade. Our friendship is my favourite, and it always will be.

I enter my room, and bid Armie goodbye. I fall asleep dreaming of a certain blue eyed, blonde haired giant. 


	5. Our First Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timothée and Armie film their first scene together back as Elio and Oliver.

I woke up fully aware that Armie would be filming all morning, I was still terribly tired from all the travelling and being launched straight into filming yesterday. It was a beautiful day in Crema, sun glistening and intruding through the slight crack in the curtains. I could feel the heat already, I sighed. I've missed this.

Stretching, I got up and moaned as the relieved tore through my muscles. Nothing feels as good as a morning stretch. I knew Armie was filming, but what was he filming this morning?

To inform myself, I walked over to the desk in my hotel room in just my boxers to read the script. My eyes scanned over the words littering the page. Ah, it was Oliver's return to Crema from the airport to the house. I expect he will be gone until the early evening then. My heart lightly sank at the feeling of missing him already. I hate it when we film separately, but our individual scenes as our characters would hopefully soon draw to a close. Over the next few days we would be beginning to film scenes together, which of course is my favourite thing in the world.

I'm at peace with myself whilst consuming my breakfast, and I can't wait to hear about how Armie's scenes went today. Filming movies is a long process, but when it's with Armie I could never get sick of him. The conversation never gets old, the conversation never dies and we're always laughing together about something of some description. 

Once I finish eating, I decide to make myself acquainted again with Crema as I haven't really had the opportunity to visit my personal favourite places. I hope at some point in this movie we get to go to the berm, but even if we don't I'm sure Armie and I will visit anyway - we love it there. I stroll on over to the Crema Cathedral and stare up at its beauty, this little town really is so pretty. What a beautiful place.

I know I reflect often but coming to Crema really opens my eyes and I leave each time a different person. I've been twice now, once for the filming and secondly, for a small premiere we did here for the locals after the movie was first released.   
  
After my morning stroll, I head back to the hotel and decide to do some work on my own rehearsing and learning lines. Usually, I would prefer to have someone here with me so I'd be able to learn from mistakes but unfortunately in this world that can't always happen. Learning lines would kill time whilst being productive so it wasn't a waste. I decide to go over some of my scenes I'd be filming with Michael, we have another heart to heart scene to film between Elio and Mr Perlman about Oliver shortly after his arrival. 

Soon enough, I feel confident with this scene and begin to rehearse it with no script prompts. I close my eyes, inhale and bring out Elio.  _Think Timmy, how is Elio going to be feeling when he finds out Oliver is coming back to stay with them for another summer? Why had his parents kept it from him? He is going to be feeling most likely betrayed by all parties involved, extremely anxious about seeing his first love Oliver, Elio is going to be stressing about how he should behave around Oliver. Should Elio act like nothing ever happened between them?_

Contemplating such things opens my eyes and I'm back in Elio's world again. I just have to think as Elio does and it works perfectly. I go on like this for the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. I decide to skip lunch because I'm not feeling that hungry, and I would normally grab lunch with Armie. He does the ordering because I'm a bit nervous about things like that here. Back home, I come across as a confident but yet awkward individual in some situations, it's most noticeable in interviews. Thinking back to the interviews we did for the press tour for Call Me by Your Name, Armie was the big confident man who always knew what to say - he's been in this industry a lot longer than I have. I never really knew how to respond to some questions, and he immediately used to see my apprehension and would take the question on behalf of both of us, but to benefit me.

I'm still not needed on set until later as far as I'm aware, for the first scene featuring both of our beloved Elio and Oliver. Finally, Armie and I would be on set at the same time. It would make spending time with him far easier, it's a bit difficult at the moment. To kill more time, I take a nap during the afternoon. 

I'm awoken by a gentle shake and I make an incoherent noise that neither I or the person shaking me could understand. I swat their hand away and attempt to get comfortable and go back to my calm wonderful dream mindset. But, I'm stopped with another shake and I feel the bed dip just to the right-hand side of me, on the edge.

"Tim," a voice whispers. His voice. Armie's voice. I almost sigh in adoration that he's here and come to wake me up. 

"Mhmm?" I try harder this time to make more sense.

"Wake up Timmy, we need to rehearse," he speaks to me in the most soothing voice. Opening my eyes ever so slowly I'm greeted with a lovely image, a smiling Armie. 

"But we rehearsed yesterday," I whined and snuggle my face back into the pillow. 

"I know we did, but we have our first scene together in a couple of hours so we need to nail it for Luca," he softly says. "Come on Timmy."

"Alright fine," I give in, I could never say no to that face. I drag myself from my slumber and sit up, rubbing my eyes with my palms.

"Don't rub your eyes too much Timmy, you'll make them sore," Armie says and reaches out to pry my fingers away. As soon as his hands make contact with my own, I feel it  _again._ That spark, different to before. Before, I just felt immediately at home and comfort, but I think it's starting to develop into something more. I need to have a think about this in my own time, perhaps when I have a shower tomorrow morning. 

"We should do the dialogue between Elio and Oliver, to really make sure we nail the emotions. God knows, there's gonna be a lot of them," Armie says with a chuckle, his mouth upturns into a small smirk at the corner and his teeth peek through. He still continues to hold my hands in his own and strokes his thumb over the tops of my knuckles, as he did on the plane only yesterday. He was never this touchy before, what's going on? Is he feeling different this time too?

I could never talk to him about it, even when I come to terms with what these feelings actually are. This reminds me of,  _"is it better to speak or to die?"._ Once again, I feel very much like Elio at this moment, like he says I don't think I could ever have the courage to ask a question like that.

"Y-Yeah, let's do that part. What time do we have to be back on set to film? Do we have time to grab dinner first?" My voice stutters due to the distraction of his touch. I hope we have some time to be together before set, but even so, I still get to spend even more time with him than I was able to before.

"It's 4:30 now and Luca wants us back there for about 7. He thinks it's the best time to film as it's still light but the evening will start to show. He wants to have the right set up for the meal Oliver is going to have with the Perlmans on his return," he tells me. Armie has really read through the script thoroughly, I have not. It makes me feel stupid and guilty as I haven't taken the time too, but I've had things going on in my mind, as you can probably understand. 

"So, what do ya think?" Armie looks to me and smiles.

"Sorry, what do I think about what?" I was too busy daydreaming I wasn't paying attention to what he said.

"Daydreaming about me are you Timmy?" he teases. "I said, let's spend over a good hour on this, I want us to really nail it and hammer the emotions and feelings home."

"What? No!" I protest, but my cheeks betray me and a colourful blush succumbs them.

"Just joking Tim, but maybe you're not?" he playfully nudges me. We do this a lot, nudges. It's our thing.

"I'm not," I whine at him.

"I know, I know. Let's get started, I really want to get this perfect," he drops his playful mood to a degree and enters his serious Armie acting zone. 

We begin to rehearse and practice, I adore practising our scenes together. It feels as if we really do become these characters. I feel as if I'm on cloud nine when acting with Armie. He really takes my mind into the fictional world between our characters. Truly, we spend even more time than we anticipated on the rehearsing, but I know we've got this one under the belt. Unfortunately, we skip dinner and my stomach grumbles in protest but, it was a worthy cause for sure. 

Luca is very impressed when we arrive, so much so that we are able to shoot the scene in under five takes. I steal glances at Armie when he's talking to Luca or another member of the crew. He really is dreamy. This is becoming a problem that I need to seriously think about. What is happening to me? What is happening between myself and Armie right now? It's just playful banter, but is it?

Packing up for the day, we decide to stroll back to the hotel. It isn't far and I don't mind walking with Armie. It's so peaceful here. We make small conversation, but make most of the walk in silence. It's not an awkward silence, it's a mutual silence. A silence in order to appreciate and take in our surroundings, the environment, the ambience and most importantly each other. Sooner rather than later, we make it back to the hotel. As per usual, Armie walks me to my room, however, tonight something feels peculiar.

"Tim, can I come in for a sec?" he asks me as we stand opposite each other outside of my door.

"Of course you can. You know you're always welcome in here," I tell him. "Is everything okay?"

As I unlock the door and walk in, the mood feels completely different. I feel a tension, what sort of tension I can't quite work out, but it's existent - it's here for sure. He follows me in behind me and I find myself stood opposite him once more.

"Timmy," he breathes. "Tell me that it's not just me that feels something is different this time. Tell me I'm not just imagining things."

"I-I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know what you want my answer to be, Armie," I respond. I'm hesitant, I don't know what he means by something different. If it is the same different as my different, then I will tell him. I won't admit what I've been feeling and what it means, partly because I haven't quite figured it out myself yet and because I'm terrified of him at the same time. 

"Tell me yes," he stares deep into my eyes. 

"Yes Armie. I feel that it's different this time," I admit to him. His eyes slightly light up at this.

"You really think so? You really mean that?" he questions me, his eyes still maintain contact with mine, he's invading my soul and making himself a home within it.

"I do. I mean it," I say confidently as I look into those deep never ending circles of blue.

I couldn't believe what happened next... 


	6. What Happened Next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy lets in on what happened next

Lips, mouths, and more lips.

That was all I could feel dominating my mouth. He moaned, he sighed and it was so incredibly sensual. Armie was completely in control of this situation, and I was more than happy to let him be. I need not even bother to dwell on what's happening right now, so I chose to let myself go and live in the moment - I'll worry about the consequences later.

Our mouths, our lips slotted together moving in time and switching and sloppy. Hands down, this was the most passionate kiss I've ever had with anyone.   
  
Armie suddenly pulled me closer to him, and I gasped. Cheekily, he took this as his opportunity to slot his tongue into my mouth and really does begin wrestling with my own tongue. This kiss is different, we aren't rehearsing and we're not Oliver and Elio. Right now, we're Timothée and Armie. 

His right hand holds the side of my neck, and I take this as my signal to do something with one of my own hands. So, I do, I scramble to grab onto his luscious blond locks and I pull. This erupts something inside of him, a growl is what I receive in response to my action, and he begins making out with me even harder. It's so intense but perfect enough. During this moment, everything we're doing feels so right, he is Armie and I am Timothée and here we are making out sitting on my bed in my hotel room in Crema. A wild world is what we live in. 

"Timmy," he groans. "You're amazing."

"Armie," I sigh with a slight whine at the loss of contact and physical connection between us. I knew that our kissing would come to an end at some point, I just hoped it wouldn't be so soon. 

"I'm sorry," he says and looks down with a face reading shame and guilt.

"What are you sorry for Arms?" I ask him and reach to hold his face with my own hands this time. I feel his rough stubble tickling and scratching my fingers and palm, I don't mind, it's something that makes Armie, Armie and that's alright with me. He would definitely shave for some point in the film though, which I was excited about as I'd be able to be subject to seeing soft skinned no beard Armie, to be honest, that was my favourite looking Armie. 

"I shouldn't have done that, it was so impulsive. I-It was so wrong of me," he shakes his head at his own behaviour and his eyes look away from my own. 

"Armie," I whisper gently. "Nevermind about what's right or wrong, focus on the moment right now. What made you want to do that?"

"You, Timmy. Everything about you. I just feel so, so alive when I'm with you. I always have but last time I felt our connection was purely friendship based. I have an overpowering feeling and desire to look after you, and I did then. But, now I want you. Tim, I want you."

"You w-want me? How do you want me?" I ask him. After hearing what he's just admitted to me, I can't believe what my ears have heard. He wants me. Armie Hammer wants me, Timothée Chalamet.

"Sweetheart, I don't quite know how I want you yet. This is all very new to me, very overwhelming. I don't really understand what's happening, but I know I just had to kiss you like that. I wanted to kiss you like that," he tries to answer my question when in fact he really gives me no answer at all. Right now, I don't mind that he doesn't really know what he's doing or how he feels. The pet name, sweetheart, is really music to my ears. 

"That's okay Armie. Just take things slow, yeah? We'll figure it out together," I tell him. I want to show him he's not alone, and that I'm here for him to help him understand and come to terms with whatever is going on. 

"Slow," he tests the word. "Slow, take things slow."

"Yeah. Take it slow."

\--

Over the next two weeks of filming, it's been the same. We make out multiple times a day, and I still have no idea what it means. We've not really talked about it, I've tried several times to ask him how he feels and what he wants. I get the same response each time I try to ask for my own understanding. As I have no clue, it's not been helpful for my feelings or emotions. Telling the truth, they're spiralling out of control. All I can think about is Armie, Armie and more Armie. 

Armie and I are in our own little world of kissing. As of yet, it hasn't progressed any further and I don't know if it ever will but I'm willing to accept whatever I'm given. I read more into our actions than he does for sure, I spend much of my time alone thinking about what's going on with him. I think about his lips, his tongue, his mouth, his eyes, his hair, his legs, his arms, his clothes. Shit, this is bad. 

For now, I try to pretend my thoughts aren't there, that these feelings don't exist for him. Whether I have a slight crush on him, I don't know, maybe I always have because of the way he takes care of me. He watches out for me, I will always be so grateful for that. 

There's something I've been actively ignoring, his family. Armie has a wife, Elizabeth and his children, Harper and Ford. I was repressing my own feelings of guilt and shame. I've been kissing Elizabeth's husband, Harper and Ford's father. I felt awful, there was no doubt about it. However, what I had to remember was that his family weren't here right now and that it's just me and Armie, Armie and I. 

Everything changes on week three of filming, though. Armie suddenly stops coming to my room unannounced, we stop all this kissing business. Being completely honest, the only time I even see him is when I'm on set and we're filming together. I wonder what's going on, what's wrong. Is it my fault? Obviously, it must be my fault, I've done something for him to avoid me like this. Although, it's not fair that he's begun acting/behaving like this and not given me an explanation. For my own benefit, I decided to get up and go to his room to call him out for it. 

_He can't want to go from kissing me all the time, groaning and moaning my name, touching my skin all over to having no relationship at all..._

Waiting outside his door, I knock three times. 

"Armie! Open up. We need to talk," I speak fairly loudly so he's able to hear me through the thick brown wood of the door. 

Almost immediately, the door swings open in my face, however, I'm not greeted by Armie.

"Timmy! I've been wondering when I'd get the chance to see you," Elizabeth smiles to me and extends her arms to hug me. We haven't seen each other in months either.

"Oh, Elizabeth hi! I had no idea you were coming," I hug her back and smile in response.

"Didn't Armie tell you? He called and asked us to come out early," she explains to me. Oh. My stomach falls, my body just feels like it's gone numb and sunk.

"No, he uh- didn't tell me you guys were coming," I tell her.

"Silly husband. He's got a lot on now, he said he's filming a lot. Must have just slipped his mind," Elizabeth attempts to explain Armie's behaviour. "Do you want to come in?"

It would be rude if I didn't go in, she would know something is definitely wrong. Plus, I have kind of missed his kids, they are really cute. 

"Yeah, sure. If that would be okay, where are the kids?" I say loud enough so they'll hear me. Immediately I hear the pitter patter of tiny little feet running towards me. Small tiny arms wrap around my legs. Two gorgeous little faces stare up at me.

"Timmy!" Harper says with a toothy smile. 

"Hi there pumpkin," I greet her, I've always called her pumpkin since the day I met her in Crema 3 years ago.

I sit with the kids and play with them for a good while, Elizabeth joins in. She looks to me and starts to talk about how she's really happy to be back in Crema with the kids and to be with Armie. She talks about how she and the kids have missed him, how it's Ford's first time in Crema. 

"So Timmy, what is it you wanted to talk to Armie about?" Elizabeth looks to me and again smiles. This woman is so kind, I can't exactly tell her that her husband and I have been sucking face for the past three weeks, not for rehearsal purposes or for acting purposes can I?

"Oh don't worry. It's just boring script stuff," I brush her off in a way of which I feel is believable. 

"I'm sure he'll be back soon. Then you guys can talk," she says.

"Yeah. I'm probably gonna head back to my room, I need to tidy it up. It was lovely to see you guys," I stand from the floor and make my way over to Armie's door. We'd been making out in my room, and I hadn't properly even been in Armie's room yet. 

"Oh, are you sure? Would you like to join us for dinner tonight?" she politely offers. 

"Uh, yeah sure. That would be lovely, thank you." 

I can't believe Armie didn't even tell me his family were coming, I felt so hurt. I knew what we had been doing was wrong, but it never progressed to more than kissing. Surely, it was gonna be okay. 

Bring on dinner...


	7. Dinner, Lies

He was acting as if we weren't even that close of friends in front of her. What the hell was going on? How long would I have to deal with this for? If anything this was only going to reinforce to Elizabeth that something had happened between us because of his 'off' behaviour. This was getting ridiculous. I didn't mind going to dinner with the Hammer family, I love spending time with them for the most part. RIght now, I was so uncomfortable.

Armie was only interested in anything Elizabeth had to say about the memories of coming here the first time. How they had dinner at this very same restaurant on her and Harper's first night here whilst we filmed the first movie. Due to my recent upsurge in feelings for Armie, hearing her talk about their married life and holidays together completely ruined my mood further, Armie had ruined it already. I felt so stupid, developing feelings for him when we were only kissing. It's clearly evident that all our make out sessions in my room meant nothing to him, clearly. 

When the waiter came to take our orders, I thought it was best that I took on this job. Considering Armie had previously ordered a completely raw steak here before and despite his rude behaviour towards me tonight, I didn't want him to have to eat that again. 

Once the waiter left, the conversation dropped off completely and all I could feel was an unwanted awkward tension floating around all of us. Armie did everything in his power to avoid my gaze and focus on his wife and family. I know he adores them, and I do too but it would be polite if he would even talk to me and he wasn't even doing that. When I turned up outside his door again to meet them for dinner, he looked surprised and rolled his eyes that I'd turned up for dinner. Elizabeth didn't even tell him she had invited me, I was going to ensure he knew I didn't invite myself. 

"It's weird to be back isn't it?" I question, trying my best to start up a new conversation to fill this void of silence. 

"Yeah, I keep saying it all feels so nostalgic," Elizabeth notices my efforts and tries her hardest too.

"I keep thinking about that one time Armie and I came here and he ordered that raw steak. I still can't believe you ate it all," I move my eyes to his own and he just tuts with his mouth and completely ignores what I just said. No response. 

It went on like this for the rest of the dinner, silence and myself and Elizabeth conversing or Armie and Elizabeth conversing. I have to say, I was glad the children weren't here to witness this entire situation, but another part of me wished they were here. Harper and Ford would have completely destroyed this awful environment. I felt pain all over my body that Armie had refused to even speak to me during the entire meal, not even acknowledged me once. He was only interested in what his wife had to say, yet I'm still his friend and I've done nothing to deserve this. 

I tried once more to get him to talk to me. I failed. My eyes started to sting, salty tears lined my waterline, my eyes became red, I started to shake. I abruptly stood from my chair, running into the restaurant to get to the men's toilet. I needed to get myself together, I was being naive and stupid. 

I threw the door open and ran into a stall and slumped myself down on the toilet seat. There was no better way to deal with this emotion than to just let it all out, and so I did. My sobs and whimpers attempted to keep at a bare minimum of noise, if not silence. A sense of time was not what I had at this moment, I was just so upset. Armie and I were the best of friends, who just happened to be kissing a lot this time around. Why had our relationship been completely destroyed?

Desperately I try to control my breathing, I was spiralling into a complete state of panic. Armie means so much to me, I can't even begin to explain. Our bond is something special and I couldn't stand this wrecked state it was in. 

The door of the men's toilet is opened, and I try to conceal my upset even more so. I don't need some guy making fun of me for crying in the toilet, that would only make things even worse. Hiding myself and my emotions is harder than I perceived it to be, and steps soon find their way to my locked stall door.

"Tim?" a soft whisper fills my ears. Surely he can't have come after me, not after all that behaviour. I wasn't really interested in what he had to say for himself at this point, I just wanted to let it all out and proceed to move on and get over whatever this was. A knock sounds against the wood. He says my name again.

"What? What do you want?" the pain in my voice is evident, even I can hear the hurt. One of my sniffles follows soon after.

"Tim, I'm sorry. Open up, I wanna see you. I wanna talk," Armie tells me. 

"Well, I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you. You, sure enough, weren't interested in talking to me earlier," I bite back. I couldn't help it, the way he had been with me today was truly horrible and I wanted him to know that

"Timmy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen," he tries to explain. At this, I open the door to the stall and stare him in the eyes, really conveying how fed up I was. His eyes dropped and softened at my expression, he entirely slumped his shoulders down too. Good, I wanted this to make him feel bad, I wanted this to hurt him. 

"Look, clearly you did. Why else would you have acted like that?" I say with a bitter tone. 

"No, really I didn't," he reaches out to touch my harm but I shy away.

"What possible explanation do you have for your behaviour?" I look to him with tears in my eyes.

"Honestly, I don't have one. I'm trying Timmy, I'm so confused about what I want."

"About what you want? Take time figuring it out, by all means. But, why act like that? If anything, it's going to make Elizabeth more suspicious that something has happened between us," I try to get him to see sense.

"I know, it was stupid. When my family arrived I didn't know what to do. We've been different this time Tim, and you know it. I didn't want my wife or kids to suspect anything different from our usual relationship, as best friends. I see now that I probably did more harm than good, my intentions and heart were in the right place."

"I'm aware Armie, just because it's different this time doesn't give you a reason or excuse to treat me like you have tonight," I do my best to sound stern. However, seeing his family tonight really did riddle me with guilt. His children needed their father, their father had been kissing me, a boy on the cusp of manhood nearly ten years younger than him. Something needed to be done about this, although I admit I didn't want to stop kissing Armie, things may get out of hand if we continue.

"I'm so sorry Timmy. I can't believe I treated you like that and made you so upset," he graps my face with his hands and looks at me sincerely. "I really am sorry."

And then he kisses me.


End file.
